Don’t lose faith!

January 8, 2017 § Leave a comment

Sunt unele momente cand ai impresia ca totul se destrama – si uneori nu este doar o impresie, e chiar realitatea. E posibil sa pierzi totul intr-o clipa. Uneori ma gandesc la viata ca la un castel de carti – e suficient un vant mai puternic pentru ca intreaga ‘constructie’ sa se prabuseasca. Sunt sigura ca nu trebuie sa va explic sentimentele care ne incearca atunci cand castelul nostru de carti s-a prabusit – fiecare a trecut prin asa ceva in viata, unii mai greu incercati decat altii. Si desi e o experienta intima, sunt sigura ca suferinta e aceeasi. Suntem toti familiari cu ea.

Si pe urma? Caci exista mereu un ‘pe urma’, lucrurile sunt permanent in flux. Ideea e sa continuam sa respiram si sa alunecam la vale cu viata. Exista mai multe lucruri pe care le putem face, si despre care voi vorbi candva, pentru a ne repune pe linia de plutire. Dar in momentul 0, important e sa nu ne pierdem si pe noi insine.

Daca ar fi sa ma definesc cumva, as spune ca dispun de rezerve incredibile de speranta si optimism. Chiar daca pe moment ma simt la pamant, nu trece mult pana cand ma ridic cu si mai multa energie, vitalitate si resurse. Greutatile nu ma fac decat sa sap mai adanc si sa vad cu ce arme mai pot lupta. Cele mai puternice arme de care dispun sunt bucuria si credinta neclintita ca va fi bine. Nu stiu de unde mi se trage si cum de sunt asa, dar eu nu renunt si gata. De fiecare data cand m-am prabusit, nu a trecut mult si am plonjat in sus cu o energie de nedescris.

Mesajul meu, si nu doar pentru 2017, este acesta: orice ati face, nu va pierdeti credinta! Nu pierdeti bucuria si speranta. Nu va resemnati. Continuati sa puneti un picior in fata celuilalt, uneori asta e tot ce trebuie sa facem.

2017 va fi un an grozav. Viata insasi, cu toate ale ei, este minunata!

Efectul de halo in viata

November 1, 2016 § Leave a comment

Ati observant cum de multe ori in viata, cand ceva merge prost, parca *totul* merge prost? Si dimpotriva, atunci cand ceva merge bine, parca intregul univers ne surade si *totul* merge ca pe roate?

Cand am cate o perioada proasta, ma opresc si ma intreb: ce as putea face ca sa schimb asta? Uneori nu trebuie decat sa astepti, momentele grele trec ca o durere de cap nesuferita. Insa alteori vrei sa iei taurul de coarne si sa schimbi ceva acum.

Viata e plina de inertie si schimbarea e mult, mult mai greu de realizat decat ni se pare. Dar imaginati-va ca viata este ca un ocean (da, stiu, o metafora mai speciala nu gaseam si eu? :)).Fiecare val, oricat de mic-marunt, determina o schimbare, uneori imperceptibila, in masa de apa.

Tradus in viata reala, asta inseamna ca ce facem intr-un anumit domeniu al vietii tinde sa aiba ‘replici’ in toate celelalte domenii.Vestea proasta este ca negativismul, inertia, lipsa de motivatie, depresia se pot extinde dintr-un domeniu al vietii in altul.Vestea buna e ca atitudinea pozitiva functioneaza tot pe acelasi model. 🙂

Asta inseamna ca daca incepem intr-un anumit domeniu cu pasi mici, dar hotarati si perseveram intr-o directie pozitiva, sunt sanse mari sa resimtim aceasta schimbare si in alte feluri in viata noastra.

Cred ca exista doua mari obstacole in calea realizarii obiectivelor: unul este lipsa de directie (nu stii ce vrei, nu stii incotro sa o apuci) si inertia.

Munca cea mai grea (dar atat de frumoasa!) e in clarificarea obiectivului si directiei.Urmeaza apoi implementarea, care nu este decat o suma de pasi mici, facuti unul dupa altul.

Deja am in minte cel putin doua obiective din viata mea unde vreau sa aplic aceasta strategie a clarificarii si pasilor marunti. Speranta mea este ca efectul pozitiv se va resimti si in alte arii din viata mea. 🙂

Lacul Leman

Lacul Leman

On being competitive

January 14, 2016 § Leave a comment

I pressed play on this song and started writing.

I’ve been listening to this song for some 7 years now. It came my way as a recommendation from a dear friend, who to this day still refers me to it. Wear sunscreen is the kind of song you listen to during important moments, when you feel down or overjoyed, when nothing or everything makes sense. But one line in particular always spoke to me.

‘Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long, but in the end it’s only with yourself.’

If you asked me to introduce myself using three words, one of them would definitely be ‘competitive’. I grew up thinking competition was in my blood and it most definitely propelled me towards where I am today. To win at something, you must work hard, have a strategy behind everything you do, be resilient in front of challenges and have lots of grit – I could have stamped this phrase on my forehead I believed so much in it.

But at some point during the game, reality starts to bite. Envy might stinge you and your ego will get bruised as a result. Always being in competition is exhausting. Ironically, wanting to be the best at everything, all the time, against everyone is a losing game. I’m not even saying you should choose your battles carefully (although you should), what I’m saying is that in fact, we are always only competing against ourselves.

Here’s why: most of the time you will always be ahead of someone and behind someone. Competition is always relative. You are never THE champion, because while you’re busy being splashed with champagne, another better champion is winning you by a split second. In other words, being the best at something is relative. It’s devoid of meaning and very much attached to the matters of the ego.

When you detach yourself from the idea of being the smartest, the most beautiful, having the leanest body and the best taste in fashion, the most money and best math skills… all of it becomes a good joke. But suffering because you are not the smartest, most beautiful etc. – this suffering also disappears the moment you let go. All is left is a blank page where you can write your own version of history.

So let’s stop looking at what other people do and craft our own slope. And also? in reality no one cares what you do, everyone is concerned about themselves anyway, so don’t worry about coming across as the funniest, brightest, sexiest person in the room because no one really cares about you – all people think about is how THEY come across.

In the end, it’s not you vs. society, it’s you vs. you – and I will talk about this beautiful game some other day.

 

The runner that I am

November 25, 2015 § Leave a comment

Two nights ago I was feeling a little ‘bleah’ about going for a run. It was like I was missing inspiration, so while Elvin was working on our wedding ‘Save the date’ invite (I know, great man!) I put some music on – it always gets me going. I spent some time warming up and visualized myself running pain-free and enjoying the feeling. It was about half past eight when I laced up my shoes and went out the door.

The first 3 minutes were not easy; they never are as my body seems to be having an amazing time trying to beat inertia. But I paced myself and moved on… and on… Soon I came to the point I had reached the last time I went running with Elvin and decided more was in for me. I made a turn, passed the church and kept running. I couldn’t believe how amazing I was feeling! Sure, there was that nagging pain in my calves but I breathed into it and let it go. There were a few moments I was dreading – such as hills. But I took it easy on the hills and did.not.stop. Soon I made a turn towards Terrain Jakobi and passed through a pitch-black patch. This wasn’t very cool, as it’s by a construction area and I was fearing someone could… you know, harm me. I remained vigilant and kept running. I think I could watch myself from afar, watch how my body kept moving at a steady pace harbouring fear and dread.

Soon there was light again. I was thankful and imagined how I could be running this route in the winter mornings. I visualized myself running on a chilly winter morning when the world is still asleep and loved the thought! I checked in with my body, it was going strong – my God, what a feeling! I remembered how last Saturday I went for a run through rain which turned into sleet which soon turned into snow. That run made me so much stronger! The fact that I didn’t abandon the run when every ounce in my being said ‘go home and have a hot cocoa, no one should be running in this weather’ built up my resilience in ways I’m still discovering.

Our bodies are so much stronger than we think! Our minds are so much more resilient than we imagine! We only need to keep at it, keep pushing, be persistent. Have patience and the result will come. Keep being inspired and you will make strides. I feel that after some time now I am finally making strides again in my life. I’m doing something good for myself.

That night the neighborhood was almost empty and all was chilly and dark. My body felt light as a feather and my heart was awash with joy. Something in my brain was sparkling; perhaps some neural pathways that were just forming? I felt like I could keep running much longer but didn’t. I’m containing my energy for an amazing adventure that will unfold soon enough.

The one you feed

October 29, 2015 § Leave a comment

This is not a motivational post. This is ‘wake-up’ call.

Time and again I realize I am setting my own limits. My beliefs about myself dictate what I can and can’t do, what I should expect from myself and from others, what is safe and what isn’t etc. In other words these beliefs are my limits and the premise for my future.

But what if these beliefs could be deleted? What if I could replace them with a new set of beliefs and live according to them? What’s on the other side of the fence? Sometimes I get glimpses of the extraordinary person I can be. In fact I already am an extraordinary person but I don’t allow that to manifest every day. Why? Because I believe that is not who I am.

Perhaps I can forget all about who I used to be. Simply leave that behind and decide to feed myself something else. I love the parable about the one you feed.

I never thought I could accomplish as much as I have. I’ve never been the sporty type –  yet I ran a 5k race in 33 mins, did some strenuous hikes and am in love with squash. I always wanted to be a consultant and do what I’m doing today but deemed that impossible and confined myself to a less than great life. Today I am that consultant. And I could go on and on about what I thought I could never be/do, yet that is a reality today.

My beliefs are pre-conceptions. They are lies which become truths the more I repeat them to myself.

But that? That is not necessary. In fact I am a supernova of energy, power, goodwill, enthusiasm, wits and strength. I’m well equipped to be and do whatever my creative mind imagines.

And I’ll start with a 10k race at the end of November – it will be the first time I run a 10k in one go. Just watch me. I’m feeding the good wolf.

the one you feed

When things don’t go as planned and how to stay on track

September 9, 2015 § Leave a comment

As I’ve mentioned before, my job and professional life tends to be quite unpredictable and intense at times. That translates into craving more structure and a ‘red thread’ in my personal life. I’ve recently started ‘partitioning’ my week-ends to make sure I include all the to-dos but also the things I love and feel passionate about. Needless to say, this covers nutrition and sports. On Sunday I had drafted a plan which looked really great – don’t all plans look that way?

Monday was great. I stuck to the planned breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. I went to a great yoga class and in the evening made an amazing lentil pancetta soup (recipe to follow). But on Tuesday things started going south. I had lots of client commitments, some draining meetings and some frustrating news. I had been in the office since 7.30am and by the time I left I had already been working for 12 hours. Needless to say by the time I arrived home I was too beat to go for a run, hungry and cranky and most of all… exhausted. I could see the pressure rising in me as I collapsed in bed. I fell asleep around 21.30 (this rarely EVER happens) and set my alarm for 6am with the intention of going for a run and getting in a healthy, filling breakfast.

Except the run didn’t happen and neither did the breakfast.

I slept through the 4 (four!) alarms I had set. I woke up feeling like I could sleep at least 3 more hours. I didn’t eat breakfast at home because I didn’t have time. I didn’t pack lunch. Instead, I stormed out of the door feeling the frustration of yesterday surfacing again. A string of bad choices, I thought.

But as I was running to the tram station, I stopped. I paced myself. I decided to stop beating myself up and instead forgive mself. I promised I will not allow one day to ruin everything. And I promised to prioritise my own wellbeing over anything else. This is new to me but I’m getting better at it. So today my to-do list looks like this:

    • Go to bed early
    • Eat well
    • Move thy body in a way that feels good
    • Smile! 🙂

bridge

Lately

August 21, 2015 § Leave a comment

So what’s new pussycats? 🙂 Here’s what I’ve been up to lately:

  • Working towards the goals I listed here . This has been going quite well and I’m happy to report I’ve crossed most of the goals off my list. And let me tell you, it has been incredibly satisfying. One thing I’ve learned though is to break the bigger and more challenging goals into incremental steps that I can spread out across a few days / weeks. Since we are getting married next year 🙂 I was thinking to do an actual Wedding project plan that I would post here on the blog, with updates, challenges and trivia. How does that sound?
  • Fitness – I came across this thing which immediately sparked up my interest. Don’t Break the Chain is a technique which was apparently developed by Jerry Seinfeld. The idea is to work daily towards a goal and never take a break. On a calendar you put a tick against all days when you worked toward that goal and a cross on the days you didn’t. This visual aid is a great motivator to not break the chain. Over the last few days I’ve tried this concept with the goal of working out daily – it worked really well except these past 2 days when I have been feeling sick. But now I’m ready to get back at it! This technique is easy, competitive and fun.The benefit is not only working towards a goal but habit-formation, which is crucial. If this continues to work well I might have to dedicate a separate post to it.
  • Healthy eating. I’m happy to report my monster hunger has subsided and I have been better about eating. Still craving snacks in the evening, still eating when I’m feeling stressed, but less than before. I’m also getting better about meal prepping and planning. The next goal is to start incorporating more smoothies in my diet – I love their taste, and they are super healthy and filling. Breakfast today was a melon-spinach-lemon smoothie. Delicious, but it would have needed some fat and protein for more staying power. Note to self: stock up on avocadoes, chia seeds and hemp seeds.
  • juice salad
  • Driving. Phew, I finally got over myself and went to register for the theory test. Even this was a big step for me – a mental one. Now I need to get my act together and rock this. But studying is my thing so I’m sure I will nail this! Also, so far this week I went driving with Elvin twice. God bless his soul, he is such a great and patient teacher! And I feel a bit more confident about my capacity for driving. This is happening! 🙂

P.S. I’m thinking about adding a fun Instagram widget here, what are your thoughts?

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