What’s possible from here?

January 19, 2016 § Leave a comment

These days I feel like I’m on an emotional rollercoaster. More than anything, I feel extremely tired, somewhat absent and pretty anguished. I keep telling myself nothing is forever, and therefore this too shall pass and there will be better days. Until then I think I will try some liquid magnesium (I’ll describe the wonderful effects of liquid magnesium some other time) and walking through snow a lot.

And still… one of the questions that bugs me is: what in the world am I really doing here? Is there anything I’m missing? Am I doing the right thing or shoul I push the acceleration? Or perhaps slow down? In a way I feel like I need some reassurance or but by now I’ve learned that any external validation is false and unreliable and that my heart is the only one who truly discerns. My heart has never tricked me so far. Some of the questions I’m asking myself at the moment:

  • what’s possible when I focus on the big picture?
  • what becomes possible when fear of failure is not an option?
  • what do I need more of? less of? what do I need to get rid of?

There is no cure forever and for all, just like there are no implacable situations. There’s only working on yourself over and over and over again, working with what you have and meeting yourself where you are, one thing at a time.

 

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