Truth AND Dare!

September 25, 2014 § Leave a comment

Today is a special day.
I would like to talk about fears, complacency, letting go and authenticity.
But first, let’s eat some birthday cake, shall we?

If you ask people what their opinion is of me, their answers will revolve around several themes: enthusiastic and funny, dead serious, organization freak, nazi style, superficial, pretentious and arrogant, loving and passionate.
So apparently I am wearing lots of hats but am choosing to believe some things more than others.
I am very good at picking up the bad stuff that I hear about me, absorb it and believe it, then try to fight it and kill myself in the process.

But this is all fiction, you know. I am not the worst person in the world, just like I’m not a superstar. This is hard to believe, right? But I am actually somewhere in the middle; some days are better, others are less good.
I’m not a hero, but I try to act as one.
I’m not stupid or superficial, yet I’m trying to prove that (why?)
I make mistakes – so does everyone else.

So what’s so special about me? Well, maybe the fact that I take everything terribly seriously. If I have a bad day at work, it will haunt me for weeks or more.
If I’m not performing I beat myself up and feel horrible about myself.
If I’m not doing my job and taking care of my responsibilities daily, I feel terribly guilty.
I am very bad at saying ‘so what!’.

You’d think all this makes me an amazing employee, friend and lover. Not really. Setting high standards for yourself and being your toughest boss can pay off short term, but in the long run it is emotionally draining and a sure way to be very unhappy.

So, here are some guidelines meant to help this girl out:

# You can’t be everything to everyone all the time.
# If there is one person you must always be on good terms with, that is you.
# Take a break.
# Every day, you should cross off these 3 things: breathing deeply, doing something nice for yourself, doing something nice for someone else.
# Think constantly about what you want. How will you get there? Check in regularly with yourself.
# Get enough sleep (this is a big one). Eat well (even bigger). Move around.
# Don’t be afraid of opening your heart; it will be well received. Don’t be afraid in general.
# Everything passess. Good, bad – it all comes and goes. Stay in the moment but don’t hang on to it.

P.S. Confessing all this to a person I look up to and admire was SO liberating. And this is the beginning of a beautiful new chapter for me.


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