June 16, 2014 § Leave a comment
Sitting with yourself when all you want to do is run away is a painful experience.
Case in point: the last two days have been particularly difficult for me and somehow I felt challenged to the core.
Yesterday afternoon I was home alone and with the prospect of being alone for a few more days – being by myself for a long time is something I am not very fond of.
I had made plans to travel this week and avoid coming back home to an empty nest.
The weather outside was glorious, but inside I felt all gloomy and terrible. I was unable to work or clean the house. I scattered different foods on the table and was really absent-minded while eating.
I postponed going to bed until I couldn’t keep my eyes open. My movements were slow, my mind foggy, and I was swimming in a sea of worries.
Inside I was feeling all cloudy…
Physics teaches us there are two types of forces: centrifugal and centripetal. I was feeling like both forces were pulling me at the same time, if that is even possible.
And generally in life I feel like I am orbiting around the same point of reference, only I see different facets of it every time.
There is something abysmal about this realisation…