June 17, 2014 § Leave a comment
As I said in a previous post I’m emerging from a few weird days. To top it all off, I am also home alone which is a bit of a stretch for me.
So I’m coping as best as I can….
I’m feeding myself well and trying out new stuff, like this amazingly soft and light ricotta cheese I got yesterday. I also came back home from the market with two charentais melons, which I absolutely adore.
I felt grateful yesterday for finishing work at a decent hour, which allowed me to go to the park and soak up the last rays of sunshine while sitting on the grass. I was turning page after page in my book when this guy suddenly approached me. He wasn’t scary at all and spoke quite softly. I did send him the message that I was not interested and he walked away, but not before complimenting me. A few minutes after, he came back and asked if I had changed my mind. :))
I spent the rest of the evening browsing the internet and chilling before I dozed off in one of the most restful sleeps ever. I woke up feeling refreshed and positive, ready to take on the world.
So today I’m grateful to be having a family, to be living in a city by the lake, for the amazing views of the mountains. for comfort, for challenges, for health.
June 16, 2014 § Leave a comment
Sitting with yourself when all you want to do is run away is a painful experience.
Case in point: the last two days have been particularly difficult for me and somehow I felt challenged to the core.
Yesterday afternoon I was home alone and with the prospect of being alone for a few more days – being by myself for a long time is something I am not very fond of.
I had made plans to travel this week and avoid coming back home to an empty nest.
The weather outside was glorious, but inside I felt all gloomy and terrible. I was unable to work or clean the house. I scattered different foods on the table and was really absent-minded while eating.
I postponed going to bed until I couldn’t keep my eyes open. My movements were slow, my mind foggy, and I was swimming in a sea of worries.
Inside I was feeling all cloudy…
Physics teaches us there are two types of forces: centrifugal and centripetal. I was feeling like both forces were pulling me at the same time, if that is even possible.
And generally in life I feel like I am orbiting around the same point of reference, only I see different facets of it every time.
There is something abysmal about this realisation…
June 3, 2014 § Leave a comment
Am deschis ochii la ora 5, afara era inca intuneric si mi se parea ca ploua.
Cu ochii inca plini de miez de vise, am atacat mailurile abandonate cu o seara inainte. Tastam rapid, furios, inca unul si inca unul, pana a venit vremea sa fac dus. Aveam pielea inca umeda cand mi-am intins crema, apoi am stricat doua perechi de dresuri incercand sa ii trag rapid pe mine. Cand am desfacut a treia punga cu desuuri, soc si groaza: ciorapei negri, fini, cu o dunga pe mijloc la spate… Prea ‘luxurianti’ pentru ce fac eu saptamana asta aici? N-am avut incotro, i-am rulat pe picior…
Acum e soare, e vara, e abundenta de cirese, la micul-dejun am mancat cel mai delicios ou moale de la gainile fericite din apropierea fermei unde este situat hotelul.
Am planuri stiva, am o multime de postari nescrise, recapitulari ale calatoriilor noastre din ultima vreme, galerii intregi de poze.
Dar vreau sa ma opresc putin si sa pun mana pe inima mea. In ultima vreme am avut numai ganduri negre, nopti umbrite de griji si intrebari. Si-a facut loc in mine o groaza mare si deasa. O lipsa de sens s-a infipt in capul meu si am functionat ca o moara de vant, fara vant.
Da, viata chiar seamana cu o bucata de svaiter cu multe gauri, dar eu chiar nu ma pot plange.
Imi sta in fata un week-end lung, in care vreau sa ajung la ferma si sa culeg capsuni cu care voi face o preaminunata tarta. Vreau sa mergem cu bicicleta pana sus la vii si sa facem un picnic in lumina asfintitului. Sa fac curat in toata casa. Sa imi cumpar atat de multe bilete de avion incat sa pot juca carti cu ele, sa incropesc salate abundente si sa mai pun si eu mana pe o carte… 🙂
Sa scriu cate o postare despre fiecare loc minunat pe care l-am vazut in ultima vreme, caci n-au fost deloc putine!
Si sa iubesc mult.
Sunt convinsa ca peste 15 ani, uitandu-ma inapoi, nu ma voi gandi la zecile de ore pe care le-am petrecut la serviciu, ci la oamenii incredibili din viata mea!
Pe meniu zilele astea: tarta cu crema de vanilie si struguri, salata de linte cu capere, mozarella si stafide, salata de fasole cu ceapa rosie si kamut
Lumesc si teribil de bun!