It’s the little things…

January 20, 2014 § Leave a comment

I had a great week last week (except I worked far too long hours and came down with a bad cold, but hey…). Yesterday, boyfriend did an amazing job cleaning the flat (really, it looked spotless and that felt soooo good for this OCD girl!) while I prepped the food for our friends who were coming over for lunch-dinner. Let me tell you, it felt amazing to be back in the kitchen and create something fresh and nice tasting for people you care about. I remembered once again how much I love cooking with intention, testing out a new recipe or tweaking a classic one to create something that tastes different.

Right now I have a gazillion ideas about stuff I want to cook, and do and see: I want to make the most decadent chocolate cake to share with friends, go for hikes every week-end once spring is here, train hard for my 10k in May, start learning economics, read chick lit in German (that’s about all I can do right now), see my family more often, go on a secret trip, wake up with coffee in bed (brought to me, not spilled all over me:)), go for brunch at Le Pain Quotidien in Geneva and many many more…

For some reason, I am having a really good day: work is relatively OK and although stuff is piling on my to-do list, I am not freaking out. I plan to go for a run tonight and hopefully practice my German a little. Oh, and did I mention that the flat is clean and decluttered and we have delicious left-overs and the most amazing soup made by said boyfriend? 🙂
It’s the little things that make this girl happy! 🙂

It’s all coming back to me now

January 16, 2014 § Leave a comment

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I used to think that these two hands of mine are only good for writing, typing and cooking. I don’t have any other artistic skills like knitting, ceramics etc. But in a recent conversation it became apparent that creating something palpable with my hands will be mission-critical for me this year. So I said to myself that I will go full blast on cooking, but you know, food is so transient and I wanted something that would ‘pass the test of time’ (OK, that’s a bit pretentious but you know what I mean).

Well, the proof is in the pudding… or rather, in the knitting! When you need something, it will come to you in one form or another and you should embrace it. So two nights ago our office went to a beautiful knitting shop where we sat around tables, enjoyed tapas and prosecco and knitted away using the materials provided by the shop. When I heard that the ‘ knit & klatsch’ was not just a metaphor but we were actually expected to produce a scarf or headband, I freaked out a little.

See I always thought I’ve got two left hands and knitting or sewing or crochetting is impossible for me. I remember my mom watching in horror as I was trying to get the knitting right in primary school. I was so tense and wanted so much to get it but I never did and soon I gave up. But this night was different – the guy who was working at the knitting shop was actually patient enough to stand by my side and show me over and over and over again how to do it without getting even close to edgy. So I loosened up and soon got into a groove and let myself go with the flow, allowed myself to make mistakes and not freak out. I enjoyed it so much that when they said knitting is over and we were gonna go to another place to get drinks I did not want to give it up. So guess what, the shop offered us the wool and the needels as a gift to take home…

And while I think I will never become this super-talented knitter who can create intricate patterns and produce sweaters and scarves, it was a good feeling to see I CAN DO IT – and UNDO IT! And a great opportunity to show myself that some things I believe about myself (all bad, by the way) are simply not true!

This simple event, almost serendipituous, brought me back to that happy place where I think everything and anything is possible, where I trust the process instead of opposing it and think it will all turn out well in the end.

And most importantly, the biggest lesson is: when you need something, it WILL come to you so you’d better lean in and embrace it!

Zurich – bound (1)

January 12, 2014 § 2 Comments

I’m on the train to Zurich, ramping up on projects and taking time to set intentions for the coming week. And feeling sick because of a banana – I took this banana with me in case I got hungry. Minutes after eating it I started feeling really sick, as if I had eaten the banana on an empty stomach and it was doing weird stuff in my stomach. For a while I contemplated going to the toilet to ‘get it over with’ but instead sipped some water that I had brought along, which made it all worse. And then I started breathing and focused really hard on thinking about something else rather than the damn banana and what it was doing to me. I feel fine now.

But the reason I’m writing all this is because I felt somewhat lonely and weird on this train. Travelling sometimes triggers anxiety in me and leaving the cozy and comfortable nest at home is not always easy, especially when you are expecting challenges. I took time to think about my mom, think about my boyfriend and declutter my thoughts.

A few minutes ago I read this really great article on Zen Habits, which basically says it’s OK to screw up and feel like crap sometimes. For someone like me who hates making mistakes and fears disappointing others and herself, this is an amazing read, one I plan to print and glue to my notebook. This spoke more to me than any of Leo’s blogs. This too shall pass.

http://zenhabits.net/down/

Snippets

January 10, 2014 § Leave a comment

* Everyone’s reality is different. And everyone is right, in their own way

* What you think is what you will get, sooner or later. Words are more powerful than actions

* Change the outside and the inside will change. Transform the inside and that will reverberate outside.

* We are all connected but we are also all separated. We are all one. And there is nothing to be scared about.

* Fear of loss – be that jobs, people, money is the ego manifesting

* Nothing is intrinsically good or bad

Where Am I?

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