choices

November 26, 2013 § Leave a comment

I could think…
how horrible it is to have been working such long hours these past few weeks, to have to travel so much and get down and dirty with things. I could think I want nothing more than stay at home with a big mug of hot chocolate and a movie or a book and stop using my brain. or go skiing. or play in the snow. or buy Christmas presents and be a normal person for once, one that doesn’t get so stressed she gets insomnia and hates her life. I could think I hate having to join a conf call at 23.00pm and be up bright and early at 6am tomorrow, when all I want is to snuggle in my super comfy bed.

or….
I could think that all these challenges are stretching me like bubble gum, and if anything, I’m only getting better, smarter, more skilled. I could think how lucky I am to be staying at his amazing hotel-chateau where everything is bio, organic and that sells amazing stuff which you would probably only find in your grandma’s pantry. I could think it’s not about being perfect, but about being there & willing. and that everything in life happens for a reason and you have got to embrace whatever comes your way, because resistance is futile and energy-consuming.

so yeah, let’s get down and dirty with a biiiiig and honest smile on our faces. 🙂

Bucket of blessings

November 20, 2013 § Leave a comment

They say that when the going gets tough and you’d rather hide under the bed, a good practice is to count your blessings, which empowers you.
So, here goes, a ‘selection’ of blessings:
– I am grateful that my boyfriend drove all the way to my office late last night to pick me up, because i was d.e.a.d. m.e.a.t and ready to sleep on my desk. I am also very grateful whenever he makes me coffee and cooks for me;
– I am grateful for my family. ’nuff said;
– I am grateful for my job, which stretches me in ways I couldn’t previously fathom.

And with this, I am running to tick all the tasks on my to do list today. 🙂

The reason I get out of bed every morning

November 6, 2013 § Leave a comment

This morning at 6am three (THREE) alarms rang in my room. ‘Just to be on the safe side’, I told myself when I went to bed last night.
Three alarms, one louder than the other. My whole body was aching and my brains were scattered somewhere in space, as I was struggling to get out of the kingsize, incredibly comfortable bed.

It’s always coffee that gets me going, you know. This post goes to the gods of coffee who conconcted this poison which always resets my system when the system is… well… shut down.

When nothing else matters

November 1, 2013 § Leave a comment

to my friend
You don’t have the right shoes to go with that dress. And why did your mother have to be so snappy on the phone the other day, did she forget you’re only human too? Girls don’t really like me, I’m too skinny/fat/ugly/ don’t have enough money/ social status/6 pack. God, I hate never being at home, never having time to just be and the kids are driving me in-s-a-n-e. So I have to make cupcakes before my boyfriend comes home tonight, and have to clean up too, darn it (why doesn’t HE ever do these things for me?). I’m wondering how she thinks of me… is she still jealous of me? Oh yes, I’m gonna run a 10k, and maybe a 20k and some day, maybe even a marathon.Maybe I’ll even be the President of the US… because I can!

What a rant… my frieds, what a rant. When real, big, horrible things hit us in life, they just put to shame thoughts like those you’ve just read. Death makes worrying about your fat thigs or skinny arms or horrible job or exhausting job – obsolete.
And we know that, because we’ve all been there and sooner or later, we’ll be there again. Time and again, life throws us in the shaky, painful, dark kingdom of fear. Life throws us in the hands of death, or its probability.

And maybe forgetfulness is the biggest sin a man is capable of. Forgetfulness of his mortality, when painful, horrible circumstances suck the life out of you, when life as we know it is terminated. Cessation of hope, and no speck of happiness; the pain of the heart is all there is, and the heart is reduced to raw flesh.

We’ll get there, all of us. So with that in mind, does the fact that you don’t own a car or a house or a job or a boyfriend, or slim thigs, or a 6 pack, or a big bosom, or the world record for niceness – matter at all?
It makes me angry to think no. It makes me angry at myself to know I have harbored feelings and thoughts I am now ashamed of, that I have wasted my time silly on so many occasions.

It’s the basics, people: you are here. That’s all there is. You’ve still got parents to hug and thank? You’ve got someone to hold your hand when the going gets tough and to see you through pain, someone you can kiss and love? You’ve got a decent job, and a roof above your head and something nice to eat, and clothes to wear? That’s all there is.

But who am I trying to fool? It will never be enough… That is until the big wave comes to wash everything away and turn off the light.

Where Am I?

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