Crazy busy or just crazy?

September 20, 2013 § Leave a comment

I’ve just come back from an almost-all week of business travel and the to-dos are piling on my desk and in my house. The project this week went unexpectedly well, partly because of lessons learned, and partly due to my very low expectations. What I mean is not that I project negative scenarios, but I just don’t get my hopes up anymore and instead, I wait to see what happens and calibrate my reaction.
Turns out humility is important in life after all.

Another lesson learned is that productivity bears productivity and … inefficiency. Let me explain. For most of us to do lists never really finish. A hundred different things beg our attention every moment. On top of that, our mind seems to have a life and voice of its own. The more you do, the more you do. But at some point you just can’t do it anymore, or your work falls below the expected standards.
So I’m afraid as much as you want it, you can’t really have everything in life at once.
Constantly busy, constantly stressed, incessantly looking for the next gig, the next goal that sends your adrenaline spiking. Until you fall. You get really ill or someone close dies or your wife leaves you because you are never there for her, or you realise you are a stranger to your own kids. Or you simply get fired – yes, from the job you gave your blood, sweat and tears to.

It seems to be there is this huge pressure to take more on, to perform better and faster, to expand yourself, to travel all over the world and excel at every aspect of your life. How do you stay on top of everything? You just don’t.

See, I am lucky to be living with a boyfriend who is, much in the same vein as me, moderate about keeping the house clean and having a well stocked fridge and pantry. When we’re not working, our priority is to relax and rest. We don’t have kids yet, and even in this context the pressure is sometimes so big I feel I’m going to crack. And why? Well, because I have super high expectations about everything – myself, my environment, life. And that is the worst thing you can do. Life is full of unexpected and unpredictable events and you are a bit nevrotic if think things are always gonna go your way; fact of the matter is we have little control over life. Attention all control-freaks out there (myself included!).

What to do, what to do? My plan is to do the best I can, moment by moment. When it doesn’t work out anymore, I’m going to stop and reflect instead of punching myself. I am really going to try giving myself a break and wait a minute before reacting. And maybe hardest of all, I will let go of my expectations that I can be productive 24/7 (and not be disappointed when I fail at that).
You see, you simply can not make everyone love you ; someone will always be disappointed at you. And that’s OK, as long as you hold on to yourself.


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