falling down the Rabbit’s hole
June 15, 2012 § Leave a comment
It’s a universal law of human existence: no one lives in a happy bubble forever. Things are going well and you’re all cheerful and positive about the future when bannng!something hits.
It could be a major health problem, a painful break-up, losing your job or your home or a baby or your self-confidence. Heck, sometimes it’s nothing at all – just a major je ne sais quoi, an existential ocean of depression, boredom or laziness that debilitates you nevertheless.
When we fall down the Rabbit’s hole we are forced to focus on ourselves – which is not necessarily a good thing. I too am trying to educate myself to see every problem as an opportunity for a breakthrough. When I look at the past and all the difficult times I see a huge potential for growth in exactly those situations which made me more desperate. But that is a matter of perspective which is hard to acquire when you’re in the middle of the maelstrom.
Some tips and tricks are in order:
* take a break – but not a Kit Kat :). step away. breathe. be with the pain. acknowledge and accept the pain.take your time with this.
* get to the heart of the matter – what is the underlying issue? what can you do to make things better? what is it that you just need to accept?
* make a game plan – make baby steps, establish milestones, ask for help, share your story. don’t be afraid that you will be judged. everyone has been down the Rabbit’s hole and if they don’t admit it it’s because they are too scared
* be grateful. I don’t think I can emphasize the importance of this exercise enough. I am a great believer in the fact that abundance brings about abundance.When you focus on what you’re lacking you are often whiny and negative about everything. Soon even those people that stood by you will start to disappear because they feel useless – and that drives you even crazier. But stop and appreciate whatever small thing in your own little bubble. Make a list of all the positive things that are happening to you and be consistent with this habit. It might seem artificial in the beginning, but keep at it.
[ Here’s a short list of things I am grateful for right now: the fact that I have the opportunity to see the mountains every day and I can explore nature, just like I’ve always wanted; My family and friends who are so incredibly supportive and show their love; Time. I am grateful for the time I am given to clear things for myself and get my act together; Challenges – they are leaps of faith in myself and life; The books I am reading]
* exercise – working out is a great way to fuel yourself up and get rid of your ‘demons’ in a productive way. 🙂 Make this a habit. When we run into problems one of the side-effects is that we also stop taking care of our bodies. But trust me, the last thing you want is to end up stuffing yourself with junk and feeling sorry about yourself afterwards. If anything, try to eat sparingly – this is not a time for food extravaganza.
And finally, trust the process. Pain is a transformational experience – take it as it is. It will pass (just like everything else does), but this is your chance to learn something incredibly valuable.